she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My liver just had a heart attack.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
