well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
