haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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