My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
