I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
