i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bring me that man meat
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize