put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
