She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
