Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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