Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
