I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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