She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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