She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
