Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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