no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize