the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize