Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
