Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
