wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
