My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think people are normalizing furries
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
