Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
