all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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