everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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