He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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