I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
