i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
