She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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