Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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