I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
