yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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