i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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