Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
