i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love accidental penises.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
