Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize