Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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