Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
