You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
