David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
