i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are my feet made of real feet?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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