Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize