it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
