Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
