So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
