my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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