She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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