Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
