There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Found the puke drawer
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
