friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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