It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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