capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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