Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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