is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
