Im at strip club and am horny
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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