its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
