Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize