Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The struggles of a small town man whore
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
